Remarriage After Divorce: How New Relationships Can Affect Custody and Support

In Iowa, remarriage after a divorce may affect child custody, depending on your circumstances. Changes may be necessary due to your new living situation, finances, or your new spouse's legal records. However, custody changes depend on your specific situation as a co-parent and a variety of factors outlined in Iowa law. Here are the details of how remarrying affects custody in Iowa.

How Remarriage Affects Custody in Iowa

If you plan to remarry and have concerns regarding the effect of your remarriage on your custody arrangement, it's best to seek legal advice from a trusted professional. In addition to seeking legal advice, a parent facing this issue should try to communicate openly with their former partner regarding the upcoming changes. Open communication can help avoid court battles and encourage a more collaborative and peaceful adjustment.

While remarriage itself is often not enough, on its own, to warrant modification of a child custody arrangement, the court may take remarriage, the status of the relationship of a custodial parent, and the living arrangements of a child into consideration when determining what is in the child’s best interest. If you or your ex-partner anticipate the need for a custody arrangement modification due to remarriage, it is best to contact trusted counsel as soon as possible.

If You've Changed Your Living Situation

Remarrying may mean you plan to move to a new location. If this location is significantly farther from your previous residence, this may affect child custody. It is important to remember that, as joint legal custodians, a parent is often required to disclose changes to their living arrangements to their co-parent. If you or a loved one anticipate relocating after a custody decree has been entered, it is important to contact trusted legal counsel as soon as possible to discuss the risks and benefits of your decision.

If Your New Spouse Has a Criminal History or History of Abuse

When considering remarriage or cohabitation when you are co-parenting, it is important to have a full understanding of your new partner’s background. In an action for modification of custody or other legal matter, the court may be presented with evidence of your new partner’s background, which may negatively affect your custody arrangement. If the court considers your new partner to be a danger to your child, it may reduce how much time your child can spend with you, or place other restrictions on your visitation and custodial arrangement.

If There's a Change in Your Financial Situation

While a stepparent has no legal obligation to financially support their spouse’s child, the court may consider a new spouse’s income when determining whether to modify spousal support obligations. Specifically, under some spousal support orders, the remarriage of the recipient spouse constitutes an automatic ground for termination of the paying spouse’s alimony obligation. In some cases, the result is not automatic termination but may be considered in an action to modify spousal support. If you are the recipient of spousal support and are considering remarriage, it is important to discuss your plans with trusted legal counsel to discuss any potential legal implications.

Best Practices for Co-Parents Entering New Relationships

Effective co-parenting is essential in helping your child grow in a healthy manner and environment, especially if you're planning to enter a new relationship. Parents should strive to ensure their child feels safe with their new relationship. These strategies can help with the transition:

1. Identify the Best Time to Introduce Your Child to Your New Partner

A divorce can result in new schedules for your child. When determining when to talk about your new relationship, consider if your child has adjusted to their new schedule. They may also need time to accept your divorce. Significant changes in family structures can take an emotional, social, and psychological toll on children.

Studies show that children who live with single parents or stepfamilies are more likely to have reduced physical activity and poorer academic and health outcomes. Seeking professional help can help you navigate these situations, but the bottom line is that your child may need time to recuperate. It is important for co-parents to monitor their child’s adjustment to their new schedules and environments and to seek professional guidance before introducing the child to a new relationship.

2. Ask About Your Child's Thoughts About Your New Relationship

Try to be gentle when communicating about your new relationship with your child. Set reasonable expectations and communicate from a state of sensitivity and affection. Your child may not trust your new partner immediately, and it is important to help build their relationship slowly. Ask your child what they think of your partner and situation and always make sure they know they are your highest priority.

3. Practice Open Communication With Your Former Partner

Even with your new relationship, you and your former partner should communicate openly and respectfully regarding your roles in parenting your child. Continuously communicate about your child's needs, developments, and schedules to keep each other updated. Open communication makes it easier for you and your former partner to make important life decisions for your child.

Having a good attitude when communicating can help you and your former partner manage your emotional responses, productively negotiate conflict, and avoid catching your child in the crossfire. Children with co-parents who are often in conflict are more likely to develop mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Co-parents should strive to foster an environment where the child can grow free from tension.

4. Collaborate With Your Schedules

Both you and your previous partner should respect the schedules you've committed to. Avoid last-minute changes, unless necessary. A schedule helps your child feel the stability in your relationship, despite the divorce. It may also challenge you to be more mindful of your schedules and manage them effectively. Co-parenting apps can help you track each other's schedules, manage expenses, and reduce miscommunications.

Additionally, a regular schedule creates consistency in your child's life. It helps them manage their expectations and understand what you want from them during your parenting time. While co-parents do not have to have the same rules at each other’s homes, generally consistent rules can help a child adapt easily to their frequent transitions.

Why You May Need an Attorney Post-Divorce

Divorce, child custody, and child support-related legal issues can be complex. Working with an Iowa family law attorney who understands the legal process can take the technical complications off your shoulders and help you focus on mentally and emotionally preparing for a transition. Generally, working with an attorney can help you:

• Evaluate if your circumstances require modification
• Provide representation if a conflict arises
• Protect your rights as a parent

Whitfield & Eddy Family Law Attorneys Can Help You Navigate Your Situation

Whitfield & Eddy Law family law attorneys have supported individuals and families with their legal issues for over 90 years. We can help you find resolutions based on your situation with the help of our family law lawyers in Des Moines and Mount Pleasant, Iowa. We understand how much your children mean to you, and how to gracefully assist clients with issues post-divorce.

If you're looking for positive, immediate, and long-term solutions, you can count on our years of experience and comprehensive approach to resolving legal issues. Contact us today to learn more.